Lasts

So I have been thinking a lot lately about lasts. We document so many of your firsts but your lasts come and I go almost unnoticed.  Much like answered prayers, we only realize the change in hindsight, not when it happens. It is the absence that we eventually notice. I have seen this with both of you. One day I realize something is different and permanently different. 

 One day Brooks just stopped sucking his thumb when sleeping. There was no warning to be sure I had a last photo. Biscuit was your sleeping companion for years until he wasn't.  One day Brooks will no longer ask me to lay in bed, scratch his back or offer the same smooth cheeks to kiss that I now enjoy. But, I trust our relationship's strength and believe we will always be close. and while your face may become stubble and your requests of Daddy to hear a story about "the little boy" will become new conversations, we will always share our bond. 

Landry will not always ask me to sleep with her and read books at bedtime. The way you feel so wonderful and soft that always makes me so sleepy when we snuggle. Asking to be home schooled so we can spend every moment together. Landry, you may not always wants advice on most everything. The way you guys lean forward and hunch over me for a good bye hug at school drop off will one day be replaced by a driveway hug as you drive off in your own cars. But I want to remember how you feel with your head on my shoulder when I read books with you on the couch. These are some of my most treasured life memories. I may be able to move past the wonderful memories of the beach, Disney and birthday parties but these I will cling to. What I will miss most are family dinners around our table on any given night. Family games as the evening comes to a close. Seeing you two sitting beside each other as you put on your shoes. Oh how I love you both to overflowing. 

So while I won't always have a heads up on when some of the lasts have arrived or even passed, I will enjoy our everydays that we have today. The ordinary but absolutely breath taking and wonderful life we enjoy right now

And the coolest part of all is that while we grow up, we have eternity in Heaven to anticipate. God set eternity in our hearts and what a loving gift He has given us in knowing this life is not the end!